Birthing Baby: One Guy's Somewhat Screwed-Up Perspective Part 1 of n
So, I have witnessed two births in the last 5 months, and thought I'd share my views. First off, a few qualifiers: I am not a doctor. I don't even play one on TV. I've seen two births, and these are my opinions. Both births I've seen were hospital births, and in fact were in the same hospital. By pure luck one in room 205, the other in 204.
That said, exactly how you decide to give birth is really a series of choices, some yours, some not. Each of these can be broken into major categories, and just by name it turns out folks can be judgmental about it. "Natural Child Birth" automatically implies that any other option is "unnatural." This seems to apply to every major and minor choice you will make: home or hospital, "natural" or medicated, vaginal or Cesarian. All I can say, having helped a friend through this process, and now having gone through it with my wife, is that no one is allowed to judge the choices you make but you. Anyone that wants to give a mom-to-be or a new mom grief about the decisions she's making or made deserves a dope-slap upside the head.
Our friend's birth was a medicated, vaginal, hospital birth. Amelia was a "natural" (still hate that), vaginal, hospital birth. We used the birth plan our friend made as a template, and the two differed in very minor ways. The two births, from an observer's experience, were very different.
In both cases the women labored at home as long as each thought was prudent. Different care-givers will tell you slightly different things, but in general it is something like: Labor at home until you have reached 5-1-1. This means your contractions are 5 minutes start-to-start, 1 minute long, for 1 hour. This is a guideline meant to help you get to the care you've chosen and stay there. Labor can be minutes to days long, and showing up at the hospital early may just get you a return trip because they don't have room to accommodate everyone. Similarly a midwife or doula cannot really be awake to help you for days on end.
So, 5-1-1 looks great on paper. In real life, nothing is that easy. I'll break it down. First, the 5. Labor contractions in general go from pretty sporadic to set-your-watch regular. That said, it varies a lot. With our friend, we arrived to her house and she was in the classic Hollywood child labor, in pain with each contraction about 4 minutes apart. With Jeri, if she walked or did cat-cow (a yoga position, more on that in a second), her contractions were down to 3 1/2 minutes. If she sat or laid down, they could slow to 10 or 15 minutes. So, getting to 5 minutes apart is one thing, but your tolerance for pain, how fast you got there, and your position can make a huge difference on exactly what that looks and feels like.
One minute long. This is another tough one. It was really not that easy to tell when my wife started and ended each contraction. I looked like the high-school gym teacher with my lap-timer around my neck, dutifully timing the start and end of each contraction. We rarely had them go 1 minute. There were lots and lots of 45-50 second ones. What we realized after going to the hospital was that the machine could pick them up well before and sustain them well after Jeri did. So, if you get to 5-30 seconds-1, do you sit tight? Again, totally a personal decision, but realize you may not be catching the whole contraction.
One hour. Easy one, right? Not so much. At one point, Jeri was consistently 3 1/2 minutes. Then she sat down in the shower with the water running over her and the contractions slowed to 10-15 minutes. So, do we re-start the 1 hour clock? She got out, walked and did more yoga, and right back to 3 1/2 minutes. So, when is our 1 hour? Also, like I said earlier, they almost never got to 1 minute long. If we'd waited until they did we might very well have had Amelia at home.
So, 5-1-1. It is a guideline. Each element comes with some tolerance and a few caveats.
Once you get to the hospital, they're going to try to figure out if you are staying or going home. This is a decision based on lots of factors, but realize if you're in a hospital they are trying to simultaneously manage their workload and do what is best for you and your baby. They'll hook you up to a monitor to see fetal heart rate and contractions. In general, consistent contractions near the 5-1-1, dilation of 3-4cm, water having broken, fetal distress, etc are a ticket upstairs. For our friend, she was dilated enough with very consistent 4 minute contractions, so she was admitted. For Jeri, sitting in the car, and laying in a hospital bed, had slowed her to 10-15 minutes. We worried they'd send us home and our Jetta would turn into the delivery room on the ride home. It turned out with her water having broken almost 16 hours previous, and us telling them that sitting and laying down had slowed everything was enough, and we got an elevator ride upstairs.
Next Time: Labor & Delivery
That said, exactly how you decide to give birth is really a series of choices, some yours, some not. Each of these can be broken into major categories, and just by name it turns out folks can be judgmental about it. "Natural Child Birth" automatically implies that any other option is "unnatural." This seems to apply to every major and minor choice you will make: home or hospital, "natural" or medicated, vaginal or Cesarian. All I can say, having helped a friend through this process, and now having gone through it with my wife, is that no one is allowed to judge the choices you make but you. Anyone that wants to give a mom-to-be or a new mom grief about the decisions she's making or made deserves a dope-slap upside the head.
Our friend's birth was a medicated, vaginal, hospital birth. Amelia was a "natural" (still hate that), vaginal, hospital birth. We used the birth plan our friend made as a template, and the two differed in very minor ways. The two births, from an observer's experience, were very different.
In both cases the women labored at home as long as each thought was prudent. Different care-givers will tell you slightly different things, but in general it is something like: Labor at home until you have reached 5-1-1. This means your contractions are 5 minutes start-to-start, 1 minute long, for 1 hour. This is a guideline meant to help you get to the care you've chosen and stay there. Labor can be minutes to days long, and showing up at the hospital early may just get you a return trip because they don't have room to accommodate everyone. Similarly a midwife or doula cannot really be awake to help you for days on end.
So, 5-1-1 looks great on paper. In real life, nothing is that easy. I'll break it down. First, the 5. Labor contractions in general go from pretty sporadic to set-your-watch regular. That said, it varies a lot. With our friend, we arrived to her house and she was in the classic Hollywood child labor, in pain with each contraction about 4 minutes apart. With Jeri, if she walked or did cat-cow (a yoga position, more on that in a second), her contractions were down to 3 1/2 minutes. If she sat or laid down, they could slow to 10 or 15 minutes. So, getting to 5 minutes apart is one thing, but your tolerance for pain, how fast you got there, and your position can make a huge difference on exactly what that looks and feels like.
One minute long. This is another tough one. It was really not that easy to tell when my wife started and ended each contraction. I looked like the high-school gym teacher with my lap-timer around my neck, dutifully timing the start and end of each contraction. We rarely had them go 1 minute. There were lots and lots of 45-50 second ones. What we realized after going to the hospital was that the machine could pick them up well before and sustain them well after Jeri did. So, if you get to 5-30 seconds-1, do you sit tight? Again, totally a personal decision, but realize you may not be catching the whole contraction.
One hour. Easy one, right? Not so much. At one point, Jeri was consistently 3 1/2 minutes. Then she sat down in the shower with the water running over her and the contractions slowed to 10-15 minutes. So, do we re-start the 1 hour clock? She got out, walked and did more yoga, and right back to 3 1/2 minutes. So, when is our 1 hour? Also, like I said earlier, they almost never got to 1 minute long. If we'd waited until they did we might very well have had Amelia at home.
So, 5-1-1. It is a guideline. Each element comes with some tolerance and a few caveats.
Once you get to the hospital, they're going to try to figure out if you are staying or going home. This is a decision based on lots of factors, but realize if you're in a hospital they are trying to simultaneously manage their workload and do what is best for you and your baby. They'll hook you up to a monitor to see fetal heart rate and contractions. In general, consistent contractions near the 5-1-1, dilation of 3-4cm, water having broken, fetal distress, etc are a ticket upstairs. For our friend, she was dilated enough with very consistent 4 minute contractions, so she was admitted. For Jeri, sitting in the car, and laying in a hospital bed, had slowed her to 10-15 minutes. We worried they'd send us home and our Jetta would turn into the delivery room on the ride home. It turned out with her water having broken almost 16 hours previous, and us telling them that sitting and laying down had slowed everything was enough, and we got an elevator ride upstairs.
Next Time: Labor & Delivery
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